About Ginny

Overcoming Shame - My Story

My face stung from my mother’s slap and burning tears exploded. “You are vile,” she shouted as her palm met my cheek with a loud hit. At ten years old I didn’t know what vile meant. I took the stairs two at a time to my bedroom and yanked the Merriam Webster Dictionary off the shelf. The definition stung as hot as the slap. Vile: morally bad, wicked. My pillow soaked with tears as I wanted to smother myself. "No one will ever love me. I’m the biggest nothing on the planet,"" I cried to myself.

“You have to wear a coat to the football game tonight,” mom stated. I replied, “No one else is wearing a coat. I refuse!” Mom said, “You will, or you won’t go.” I shouted, “Shut up!” And there, the bedlam began. Dad ripped off his belt and chased me up the stairs as I locked myself in the bathroom. Tearing the window open from the second story to jump out, I turned and noticed the hardware on the door jamb shaking. Oh no, he’s going to break the door down; I was terrified, afraid he would kill me. With that, I opened the bathroom door and fled to my bed, face down, ready for the beating of a lifetime. When it was over, I could smell the fresh blood on the backs of my calves.

For several weeks I sneaked into my parents' bathroom and applied makeup on the bruised and scarred legs. Catholic school did not permit knee-highs, so I was forced to expose as much as I couldn’t conceal. I made excuses to my friends, “It’s nothing, had a fall.”

I won the Spelling Bee and Math contests. My parents didn’t make any fuss.

Eighth grade graduation and excited to get my hair done in a salon. “Would you like to go for lunch afterwards?” Mom asked. “Sure!”, I exclaimed.

She dropped me off at a lunch counter with a few dollars. A whiff of the burger and fries didn’t stimulate my appetite. Sad, I ate alone.

In adulthood, I became quite anorexic. After recovering, I realized it was due, in part, to marriage to an angry alcoholic and being the only woman in my higher education position, yanked from full-time to part-time and back again. Beyond that, a five-year yo-yo relationship with an unfaithful narcissist. When that terminated, I learned to become more self-compassionate, began to recognize my emotional neglect, and embraced loving kindness. I recovered from mistreatment and now identify the signs and symptoms to avoid. Toxic people have been extracted from my life. I am truly happy!

I believe you can also be truly happy. Please join me on the journey.

BTW, I’ve coached for over 20 years and am certified in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and as a Motivational Coach and Project Adventure (experiential learning). I have a master’s degree in Liberal Arts, taught college for nearly 10 years and started two businesses. My passion is working with women to develop greater resilience.