My face stung from my mother’s slap and burning tears exploded. “You are vile,” she shouted as her palm met my cheek with a loud hit. At ten years old I didn’t know what vile meant. I took the stairs two at a time to my bedroom and yanked the Merriam Webster Dictionary off the shelf. The definition stung as hot as the slap. Vile: morally bad, wicked. My pillow soaked with tears as I wanted to smother myself. "No one will ever love me. I’m the biggest nothing on the planet,"" I cried to myself.
“You have to wear a coat to the football game tonight,” mom stated. I replied, “No one else is wearing a coat. I refuse!” Mom said, “You will, or you won’t go.” I shouted, “Shut up!” And there, the bedlam began. Dad ripped off his belt and chased me up the stairs as I locked myself in the bathroom. Tearing the window open from the second story to jump out, I turned and noticed the hardware on the door jamb shaking. Oh no, he’s going to break the door down; I was terrified, afraid he would kill me. With that, I opened the bathroom door and fled to my bed, face down, ready for the beating of a lifetime. When it was over, I could smell the fresh blood on the backs of my calves.
For several weeks I sneaked into my parents' bathroom and applied makeup on the bruised and scarred legs. Catholic school did not permit knee-highs, so I was forced to expose as much as I couldn’t conceal. I made excuses to my friends, “It’s nothing, had a fall.”
I won the Spelling Bee and Math contests. My parents didn’t make any fuss.
Eighth grade graduation and excited to get my hair done in a salon. “Would you like to go for lunch afterwards?” Mom asked. “Sure!”, I exclaimed.
She dropped me off at a lunch counter with a few dollars. A whiff of the burger and fries didn’t stimulate my appetite. Sad, I ate alone.
In adulthood, I became quite anorexic. After recovering, I realized it was due, in part, to marriage to an angry alcoholic and being the only woman in my higher education position, yanked from full-time to part-time and back again. Beyond that, a five-year yo-yo relationship with an unfaithful narcissist. When that terminated, I learned to become more self-compassionate, began to recognize my emotional neglect, and embraced loving kindness. I recovered from mistreatment and now identify the signs and symptoms to avoid. Toxic people have been extracted from my life. I am truly happy!
BTW, I’ve coached for over 20 years and am certified in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and as a Motivational Coach and Project Adventure (experiential learning). I have a master’s degree in Liberal Arts, taught college for nearly 10 years and started two businesses. My passion is working with women to develop greater resilience.
"When I think of Ginny, I think of where I was when we first started working together (I had just started my sales career and was going through a divorce), where I am now (making a six figure income and happily remarried) and where I am going in the future (starting my own business). What makes the experience with Ginny unique is that even after we had stopped our sessions, I was able to build upon our time together with the tools she gave me to continue to enrich and evolve my life."Theresa S.O. - Perinton, NY Entrepreneur/Sales Director
"Ginny, when I started working with you, I thought mostly about “can’t” – I can’t do this, I’m not good at that, I’ll never be able to achieve that. You enabled me to see that I CAN do things that scared me. Once I did those things often enough, with Ginny’s coaching, I realized it was just learning a new skill and step by step the plan began to work. I was able to “get unstuck” as you said, to believe that I could do things that seemed out of my skill-set, and work toward achieving the personal and professional goals I have set for myself over the next ten years."Constance H. - Rochester, NY Creative Director & Publicist